The Revert

Asslamualaikum (peace be upon you) .


I don't know how some people can claim that they don't feel regretful of things of the past. It's almost unbelievable. I regret too much. But I remember there was a moment that I really regret. Feeling regretful for not helping.


There was one time, about a couple of years ago, that I waited for my sisters and mother in one of the rooms in Dublin Mosque as they prayed in the common prayer area for women. Well, I couldn't pray at that time. But apparently there were other women who prayed at the same room I was staying.


And just suddenly, a Caucasian lady entered the room. I noticed that she had a pink shawl just draped on her head, but her hair was still apparent. And something else just looked off, if I remember correctly, she looked quite anxious. And then she approached me and told me that she was a newly revert. And that she needed some guidance. I felt so flustered. How am I to teach a convert?, I thought. I've never endured such a situation. I was fourteen and my Islamic knowledge wasn't (still isn't) very impressive. Plus, I was an extreme introvert.


It wasn't that I didn't want to advocate Islam, it was just that I felt I was so inadequate to teach.So what I did was I managed to refuse to help.Well, in a way I did. I actually asked the lady sitting beside me if she could help the revert. (I'm now using the term 'revert' because I was taught that muslims believe that everyone was born a muslim, it's just that when they grow older, some start choosing other faiths.But it's not really a compulsory term or anything, no worries). I don't exactly recall what happened but I remembered the lady leaving for the washroom.


And so there I was, possibly cursing myself for leaving a poor confused revert like that, I even declined to help her. It was wrong. I knew it was. And after quite a while of convincing myself, I went for the loo and found that an African lady in black with her charming male toddler by her side, talking to the revert.  Somehow rather, I managed to butt into the conversation. The African lady was continuously praising Allah. "Masyallah", she had said. She expressed her delight in helping the revert. She looked so welcoming and so spirited that I wish I could be more like her.


And then the revert started to don on her  hijab properly. She seemed really happy as she told me that she was actually an American who had reverted months before that day. But she been messing up after reverting. And that was why she was at the mosque, seeking for guidance. I don't remember her name and I never did meet her after that, not even the pleasant lady with her toddler. But these two ladies taught me valuable things. I don;t know exactly what but I felt really inspired when I left the mosque. They may not remember me, but I appreciate that they somehow gave me this experience.


True, I am not pious but nonetheless, I should have voluntarily tried to help anyway. It is in the teachings of Islam. I should have encouraged more. And I'm glad that the lady in black somehow showed me a bit how to be more welcoming to reverts. All I can say is that, I'm just glad that I changed my mind and walked into the washroom that day.