What does it take for one to be considered confident? We live in a country where "speaking out your thoughts" isn't necessarily a good thing. Considered rude even especially when it is expressed towards someone who is your senior. Do we lower our standards when we grade our confidence level then?
Sometimes, I think back and I just wish that I had participated more in activities that would have made me a convincing and charismatic speaker. Of course, it had all been Allah's plan. No room for regrets. School life is over for me. I've escaped from the safe cocoon I was in this past decade. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for the future. I was excited for the future even when I was in Asma. Perhaps just a bit intimidated by the people who might be in a different league than I am.
Alhamdulillah, not everything is a lost cause as I did participate in a few events. My confidence grew. Stage fright still dominates my thoughts though. Some friends say I'm not bad at all when I speak. I was baffled. Now I know that it was because of this "gift" I have:
A poker face. No, I think it's more of my blur facial expression. Some have called it muka cekang. Sometimes my blur face masks all emotions within. Not all times. I'm grateful to Allah for that anyway. Gone (maybe not fully) are the days when I wished I was more expressive. My blur side can get me into a lot of trouble to be frank. People think that I'm not sensitive enough, I look bored or people get bored talking to me. Well, you get the idea. As I said, Allah has planned it all.
I think I'm off topic. I didn't mean for this post to be so long. I just wanted to emphasize that it helps to have the confidence to speak up. Forget social norms that don't benefit you. We must speak up. Malaysians are considered reserved. Some say that we are shy. I think mandom is the word. Yes, that includes me. We should speak up when our rights have been taken. We should speak up when the older ones are doing it wrong. We should speak up when our religion has been taken for a ride. We have to learn how to.
Sometimes, I think back and I just wish that I had participated more in activities that would have made me a convincing and charismatic speaker. Of course, it had all been Allah's plan. No room for regrets. School life is over for me. I've escaped from the safe cocoon I was in this past decade. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for the future. I was excited for the future even when I was in Asma. Perhaps just a bit intimidated by the people who might be in a different league than I am.
Alhamdulillah, not everything is a lost cause as I did participate in a few events. My confidence grew. Stage fright still dominates my thoughts though. Some friends say I'm not bad at all when I speak. I was baffled. Now I know that it was because of this "gift" I have:
A poker face. No, I think it's more of my blur facial expression. Some have called it muka cekang. Sometimes my blur face masks all emotions within. Not all times. I'm grateful to Allah for that anyway. Gone (maybe not fully) are the days when I wished I was more expressive. My blur side can get me into a lot of trouble to be frank. People think that I'm not sensitive enough, I look bored or people get bored talking to me. Well, you get the idea. As I said, Allah has planned it all.
| “And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AI-Baqarah, 2:216) |
I think I'm off topic. I didn't mean for this post to be so long. I just wanted to emphasize that it helps to have the confidence to speak up. Forget social norms that don't benefit you. We must speak up. Malaysians are considered reserved. Some say that we are shy. I think mandom is the word. Yes, that includes me. We should speak up when our rights have been taken. We should speak up when the older ones are doing it wrong. We should speak up when our religion has been taken for a ride. We have to learn how to.
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