Welcoming Deadlines

It's super rare that I don't postpone my work till the last minute. Hence, work assignments that are given out really early are sometimes my worst nightmare. I can't make myself do work early but at the same time, I procrastinate with anxiety. Even if I try to do stuff early, the juices just wouldn't flow. ADHD? Hmmm... Sometimes, I ask myself, "What in the world is your problem?". A counselor once told me if that is how I do work, I shouldn't have to feel the need to change. I guess it just can get really tiring sometimes but nothing else has worked. Oh well.

Anyway, I have a deadline I need to meet in less than 17 hours. I actually welcome it. Good bye procrastination...for now. 

An Inconvenient Time to Feel Faint

I experienced a somewhat moment yesterday.  I brought it upon my myself. I cycled as fast as I could to the Union because I was running late. I reached the Union and ran into the TAP room (computing site) and keyed in my username and password while trying to catch my breath. That was when I experienced the first wave of nausea. I immediately thought about my first and last time of fainting during a training session about a year ago. I knew I was close to passing out. I remembered I was told that should I ever feel like fainting, I should lie down. So I lied down in the TAP room. No one was there. Then I heard footsteps. I remembered thinking this person is going to ask me if I was alright. I was prepared to explain that I would be if I continued lying down for a bit. Then I heard the same footsteps walking out. Then I thought to myself "DID THIS PERSON JUST WALK OUT ON ME?" I could have possibly been actually sick. Holding on to my diminishing but still-existing faith in people, I thought he/she would go get help. But no one came. So I picked myself up. I was still late anyway. So I printed my paper and rushed to my next destination.

How to Ensure Time is Well Spent

Warning: This post poses questions and puts the author's first-world problems into perspective. It does not provide a solution as the title might have suggested.

I have finished a semester (also finished a two-week break) and am already a bit anxious of how other breaks will be spent. Not because this break was bad. Not at all! I had a great time. However, it does make me think about how will my other breaks be like.

There is so much to do in the States. I guess I would have a lot to do back home too if I set my mind to it. But here, I guess because my I live apart from my family, decisions are mine. Lol. Just kidding. I still ask my parents for permissions to do stuff, but being here alone makes me best at deciding since I, myself is the best person to assess my own situation. Then again, I am not the best decision-maker in town.

How much travelling do I want to do? I keep reminding myself that I have only two summers here. That is not much time. When do I go back to Malaysia? Can I do all the things I want to do? It feels too much, but then again is it?

Culture Shocks?

Wow, I wrote this post back in September, when I had just started schooling. But I saved it to drafts thinking I would improve this post and publish it after a few days. I only came to do it after a few months. Finals soon! I added commentaries today to reflect on what has changed.

So I have recently started school at U of M.

Doors are heavy!

One of the first things I noticed was that doors are really heavy. I couldn't even push some of them. Many times I would be fumbling to open one of the many doors available, giving up, about to attempt opening the door when some stranger just opens the previous door easily. If anything, I am appalled at my own weakness. But to justify myself, in Malaysia doors are really light, so I never really give a big push at doors.

Comment: I guess doors are still heavy, but I can push them fine now ;)

People trying to bless me after I sneeze

From watching movies, I know that Americans say "Bless you" after hearing someone sneezing. If you know me well, then you would know about my allergies. So imagine myself on a series of sneezing episodes, and the more sneezes I churned out, the more people trying to bless me. I find it odd to live that experience. Because I don't really understand the concept of it. I appreciate the thought though guys.

Comment: I guess it's pretty obvious Aifa, that people are asking God to bless you!

Pizza Party all the time

I love pizzas. I don't know how many slices I take ever since I came here. Sometimes I consider going to club mass meetings just for the pizzas. They are awesome. I am aware, though, like many other Malaysians, I'll probably get bored of it soon.

Comment: I don't get that many free pizzas anymore :(

School spirit is crazy

I had never thought about coming here because of "U of M" has a big name in college football. Honestly, I forgot how big sports is here until I came here. And heck, I never expected that it is that big of a deal. The fact that is that there are so many Blue Merchandise Shop never fails to surprise me. I mean, wow people really buy these stuff. One time, when I asked my classmate who we were against the next day, she went, "AIFA!". She really couldn't believe I was that indifferent. By the way, people cried when we lost to MSU. When my lecturer asked another classmate " What did you think about the game?",  he replied, "I don't wanna talk about it". Guys, chill.

Comment: I still haven't bought a single Blue merchandise.

Shopaholic's Sister: Most Influential Character

I am currently reading "The Art of Thinking Clearly", which is thought provoking, but not necessarily new to me. This was especially true on thinking fallacies related to money. I realised that these were habits or ideas that were already stuck in my head. Ironically, it was inspired by one of the characters in "Shopaholic & Sister" by Sophie Kinsella. I think I can be quite thrifty on certain types of expenditure.

Honestly, I don't even remember Shopaholic's sister's name (As you can tell, Shopaholic's name too) but I have always thought that her character to be remarkable. I felt that I identified with her thoughts and beliefs of being thrifty and not to mention, waste-averse. And soon, I began to adopt her ways too.

Oh, I just googled her name. It's Jess.

I think I read  the book when I was thirteen but I remember the parts when Jess imposed  these questions to her sister, and now to me ;

a)Why do you need to buy books when you can just borrow from the library?
b)Why do you need to go to the gym when you can just exercise at home?
c)Why not use a pencil to write on birthday cards so other people can give to another birthday girl?

Honestly, I am always repeating a) to my ex-roommate. She disagreed because she claimed that she writes notes and refers to her purchased books. I have no argument against that. But come one, who (except a few) does that?

The thought of b) has always been in my head. But I don't think this applies to me since I don't exercise voluntarily much.

About c), hmmm I am not sure if I dreamed it, or it really happened in my family. If it really did, it had nothing to do with Shopaholic.

After my explanation, it seems like I only learnt to frequent the library. I beg to differ, I feel like I learnt a lot from her. However, I cannot support my reasons. My memory is not that great but lets hold on to the thought that Jess really did influence my thriftiness, I supposed I expanded Jess's ideas from the books and applied to other things as well.

Note: I am not promoting the Shopaholic series, I am so over it. But I would recommend "Shopaholic & Sister" since it made me reflect on myself. And sorry if this post seems a bit off. I realised to day was the deadline for my self-imposed blog challenge. So, I quickly typed, a few hours before the deadline. I am sleepy. Night! I'll fix this post when I am more motivated (which might be never).

When to Say Sayonara

If you think I got the title from a book, you can't be anymore right!

Anyway, tomorrow is finals for ACTP, and then I can bid INTEC life farewell. This is the first time ever that I only have one day of final examination! Honestly, I can't believe how nostalgic I'm feeling already. One of my housemates had just gone back this morning. It feels a bit surreal. I don't know when is the next time I would see her again.  Tomorrow, I'll be the only one left at home (yes, I call  my apartment in Cemara home too).

This just feels like leaving Asma. I don't remember if I was this sad. But at least I get to see them when I'm back in Alor Setar. Well at least most of them la.

Yesterday, after getting off the bus, I saw a friend. And after smiling and passing by her, I kinda looked back, wondering if that was the last time I was going to see her. I am just relishing moments in INTEC. Honestly, I can't wait to finish it, but I know I will miss it. Maybe not so much of INTEC itself, but the people. Nah, I am bound to miss INTEC too. Oh, the paradox.

Words Hurt

Not everyone is nice. Well everyone has a good or bad side. It is just that when people say a person is nice or bad, they are describing the dominating personality of a person, or the perceived dominating personality.
Honestly, only God can judge, and he judges correctly.

My point for today is actually, despite being brutally frank is always honest, I am thankful that I am not like that. Being frank can be hurtful. if I were brutally honest, I would be a lonely person. I know I am not the only one.

Besides, being frank also means speaking what is on your mind then. But sometimes, you only mean some things at a point in time. And those they could be really ugly thoughts. This mostly applies to moments of anger. And once, your words are out, oh it's out. I guess this is the best time to include some Malay proverb.

Terlajak perahu boleh diundur,
Terlajak cakap buruk padahnya.

Hey, bukan selalu nak berperibahasa haha.

Honestly, I don't ask questions I think I might not want to hear the answer. This post is pretty ironic for me since it is recently that I felt that I've learned to be more frank.

If you feel I am generalizing things, it probably is true. But that is what writers do! (I saw this from a columnist in reader's digest, or did he say that is what columnists do).

But essentially, I don't mean honesty is not the best policy. It is. Don't get me wrong. I think the word I must highlight today is frank. Being frank is not always the best policy. How did this end so cheesily?