To Kill a Mockingjay

What do Atticus Finch of To Kill a Mockingbird and Hassan of The Kite Runner have in common? They are my two most favourite fictional characters. Probably some of you might think that that is so cliche, but I can't help it. They really struck me as awesome characters!

It's not often that I am awed by fictional characters. Well, partly because I rarely read fiction. I just finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird (One time, I accidentally typed To Kill a Mockingjay). I must say that it was a very enjoyable read. It really changed my perspective on fictional books. I stopped reading fiction avidly ever since I started picking up a book on Nelson Mandela. And I decided to abandon said genre for good. Once  a while I did pick up some fictional books but only if they were really famous and had good reviews.

Now I realize before Mandela, I had been reading lots of trashy fiction books which were fun to read but did not give any real satisfaction. After so many Shopaholics, I felt empty maybe. I don't quite remember. However, I do remember feeling very good after finishing the Mandela book. And thus, I was resolute with my decision.

But To Kill  a Mockingbird made me feel like picking up more good literature like this. I still prefer non-fiction, but you can say I am more open to different type of books.

The Novelty of Loneliness

 I have been wanting to write my experience with loneliness. I just finished reading the late Marina Keegan's essay, "The Opposite of Loneliness". I just brought that up for those of you who want to read an essay written by a Yale magna cum laude. Plus, it sort of fits today's topic.

I can't believe how fast the holidays went by. And now I am back in my room in INTEC, worrying about applications which I totally ignored during the holidays. So much happened the past year, even towards the end of it. The night does change, huh. But lets leave it at that. It is a new year and lets hope my new mojo lives long.

When I wrote my last post, I was living alone in my apartment/house. My housemates are in a different program and so they had left for their one-month break. I don't know how to describe what I felt back then. At first, I felt really good about the amount of privacy I enjoyed. Imagine four people staying in one house. I did feel a bit cooped up. And so, I found being alone was refreshing. Don't get me wrong I love my housemates but I had been looking forward to live "independently". ( During my friend's mum's time in Akasia, there were a total of eight people in one house. EIGHT! That is double of us. I can't imagine.  but  I guess I am an introvert at heart.)

Things were lovely at first. I turned my other two housemates' room into a prayer and dressing room. I hogged all four study tables. I controlled the level of hygiene in the house. I liked it all. But soon, the novelty wore off. Not entirely. But enough to make me crave for human company. I came to dread being alone on my last few days at my college residence.Classes and eventually, exams went on as usual. They kept me sane, I guess.  But coming home to an empty house and knowing I would spend my time alone till class next morning just made me feel...really lonely.

 Due to circumstances, I was one of the last few to go home at the end of the semester. My last night in Shah Alam was spent at a dear friend's house. And it was great. I got time to catch up with some friends. Knowing that everyone else was leaving the next day, I left my for my aunt's.

I used to think I can stand being alone. I still do, but I don't think I can bear going through that experience again. I know I may sound like I am contradicting myself, but I sort of cherish that experience. It really wasn't all  that awful. It is really a mix of good and bad memories. It is just that the dreadful feeling I felt at the end of my stay mitigated the wonderfulness of being alone. Lets just say, I knew myself better after being lonely for so long.