Writing Memories

I was just thinking how big of an impact writing can give. Not towards others in this case, but towards oneself. I thought to myself just now, I would write a book review on 'Death to the Dictator', before I forget everything else that has happened. The book is on the Iranian election which was won by Ahmadinejad but was suspected to be fraudulent by the people. Next thing you know, the nation went protesting on streets. I first read the book two months ago. So yesterday i read and was perplexed to a sudden appearance of a teary wife longing for her missing husband, which after some more reading I realized that the book spoke of couple’s predicament in the earlier pages.

Just like memories, we tend to forget. That's one of the reasons I love writing. (But honestly, I think I might love the idea of it more than actually doing it). Anywho, I went through my previous writings, and I could see how I viewed things differently, how I have somewhat matured. Imagine going through your journal entries, and you come across a sad one. This would make you try to relive those moments but you can't really do that because the pain is gone. And with that you feel more grateful for today. Unfortunately, it also works vice versa. Reading back a happy memory when you're feeling down would probably create a longing for yesterday. But nah, it doesn't necessarily have to be true for the latter!

Ultimately for me, the greatest gratification that comes from writing about your past is when you read them all over again, you know something happened not because you remember it but by your own writing .For instance, I wrote about my visit to an ancient town, Toledo. I didn't write about the rest of the trip to other places thinking reminiscing would suffice. Frankly, now all the memories of my visits other than to Toledo have been jumbled up. Regretfully but at the same time gratefully, I think to myself that at least I have one visit recorded. I am always thankful for every time I write about a memory because now, sometimes when I read them back I don't recall certain events that have taken place but I know that they have happened. Just like a history book, it is something you don't remember to have happened but you know that it definitely has occurred. Except unlike history, the events are more personal and they give meaning to you. And for me, that is very gratifying.

Cow Dung

As you may have guessed from the title, this might seem like a mindless post but let me defend myself. This could be a pursuit culture appreciation.

If you don't already know, I celebrate the Kedahan life. I love the dialect and people here are very amicable and funny.  I was not born here and my dialect ain't very piau (though undetectable by non-Kedahan ears), but I've lived here for most of life. So I pretty much have understood the nuances and culture here. Well, not that it has a stark difference from other parts of  Malaysia.

Anywho*, one day, at my college in Shah Alam, I smelled a stench that came from outside . I was with a friend that time. I commented , " Bau macam tahi lembu", and my friend laughed in disbelief, " As if you know what cow dung smells like!",

Now it was my turn to be in disbelief.

YOU KNOW NOT OF COW DUNG STENCH?

But then I realized, it was only natural that someone who has grown up in the city would not know what cow dung smells like. For Kedahans ( and guessing, also true for Kelantanese), cows and its odor are deeply intertwined with our lives. This might sound like I'm generalizing from personal experiences but feel free to disagree with me.

Okay, this does sound like a mindless post.

All jokes aside, I do like to ponder on this cross-culture bizarreness. Especially now that I'm in college, I get to meet people from even more diverse backgrounds. Which is really cool.

I guess I am interested in people,at least in this sense. To sum it up, a Javanese friend of mine once said, "Aifa ni suka tanya pasal Kejawaan aku".

*I just realized anywho is a somewhat-proper word. I've ignorantly spelt it as anywhoo all this while. Haha. 

Overused Excuses and Divine Speech

I'm back (again)!

I know it's been about six moths since I last posted and I won't give the following excuses:

a) I'm too lazy
b) Procrastination is my middle name
c) I'm busy
d) I have a writer's block

The fact that I laid them all out means they're  all sort of true. Except for (d) because I did think of some posts to write but never realized them, which brings me back to a,b,c.

Obligatory introduction aside, sometime ago I read all my posts again and MY GOD the posts were so cringe-worthy.  I have finally come to this stage where I get embarrassed of the stuff I wrote back then. Ironically, I didn't understand when other bloggers say this kind of stuff back then. Now I know better.

Updates!

So I came back from Divine Speech which was awesome!

I've always loved Nouman Ali Khan's talks. I can say that Divine Speech is the best seminar I've ever attended.These are some of the topics discussed (which I copied from its web page).

Why does the Qur’an repeat itself so much? Why are its stories not in chronological order? Why are its chapters in the sequence they are in?  What is the purpose of the oaths in the Qur’an?  Why are there claims that the Qur’an has grammatical mistakes?

And good news, the seminar will be aired on Bayyinah TV. Before Divine Speech is uploaded, you should check the other videos. Go subscribe! Payment is optional.

Not to romanticize anything but Bayyinah is one of the best things that has happened to my life. To know and truly believe that the Quran is from God, rather than just being told it is so,  is just superb.

I don't know if I can ever promise to write constantly but I do want to.

Unlocked

As much I cringe inside when I finally publish a post, especially when I have it on my Facebook wall , I continue to so anyway.  It's a really tough thing to do actually, to have all your thoughts (given I write all of them, which in my case is rare) made public. It's a funny thing when I think this back. Because I almost never talk about  my personal life in my posts. Personal, according to my definition of course, but I think most readers would agree, no?

Anyway, why do I write? I think I've stressed it more than it is necessary in previous post(s). Why, I started writing was for a different reason altogether, priority wise. I resumed writing in this blog a few years back because I probably thought that it was cool thing. Credits to my lovely and talented friend, Michelle.

So now, I have promised myself to write more often. I know this post has no solid content but I just felt like I had to write. It was nagging me at the back of my head. Plus, I was and still am in the mood. I wonder what people think when they read my posts. Do I sound self-absorbed? Ya Allah, not that, please.

I am not sure which direction this post is going so I'll probably end it soon. Overall, I quite like this one.

Peace be upon all of you.

What I have learned from 2013

Instead of posting highlights of the year, I thought of sharing some lessons I learnt this year, as cheesy as it sounds.

Love the Young Ones

This is literally the name of the lecture from Twins of Faith 2013, which I attended a few days ago. Man, when I saw this lecture on the itinerary, I said to myself philosophically " This is for me". Because I am really no fan of kids (Boohoo! I know, I know). But hold on a sec, I am keen on kids who behave. Quiet and obedient ones. Might as well say I like kids who just can't express themselves. Anyway, I bared no such guilt for despising the presence of the innocent ones until... I can't remember when exactly. Somewhere along late last year and middle of this year Sheikh Hussein Yee happened. He walks the talk. I was guilty but lacked motivation. Until a dew days ago, when I heard Sh. Assim Al Hakeem. I've made a self-check.

Allah’s Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)

My problem is I have no patience with them children. I like the playing with the toddlers but there exist the ones who have no respe-...must.restrain.myself.They're only kids. I MUST BUCK UP.

Everything Happens for a Reason

I am someone who dwells on the past a lot. Literally. I am always thinking, "if only this...if only that happened". But Alhamdulillah, for God has helped me see through all those what-I-initially-thought-as-mishaps and see the blessings in them. This is what Islam has given me, certainty. Of course, now and then I would wallow in my sorrows but I know this has reduced. 

Time for an Albus Dumbledore quote!

Learn to Accept Criticism

Once, when N started advising A and me, I could feel myself boiling up. I was probably finding 1001 of N's faults in my head. Just when I was about to explode (for dramatic purposes), A said "What else?". As in what else does A need to improve. I was just gobsmacked. I just can't. Another time, I asked Y if she ever got offended if someone criticized her and her reply was "No. I like it when people criticize me". Before you get any ideas that I am surrounded with weird friends, let me just tell you these people believe in constructive criticism in its truest meaning. 

To those who who came into my life in 2013:

 Thank you to my housemates whom I've learnt a lot from; Nadine, Arini and Husna.  Not too forget, my crazy classmates who've made classes somewhat fun! 

Welcome 2014! 

Self-Improvement?

It's been so long since I've posted anything here. Blogging feels rather awkward. But I'll do it anyway, just to keep my thoughts flowing and I am dying to see tremendous improvement before next semester. My writing skills have deteriorated. Boohoo.

So did anyone miss me? *krikrik*

Waaay of topic.

Moving on to more important things. I am currently on my semester break which means I have lots of things to do. So much potential. *coughs* However, two weeks have gone by, and even though I did some teensy weensy bit of  stuff that I would actually call productive, I certainly need to do some major improvements on time management.

Essentially, what  is mandatory for us is to improve ourselves by the end of our holidays is our faith towards God.Our Imaan. Imagine having spent all your time only on watching tv, movies, games, you name it. They will make you happy but only for a moment. Whereas the remembrance of Allah brings us happiness and encourages us to focus on good things. Personally, these feelings become even more apparent when I over indulge in frivolous things.

Man, I cannot agree more! On another note, it's been so long since Starstruck, I can't remember if this is counted as plagiarism. Do tell. This caption is getting too long. Are you still reading it? Say lalala with me~

Hmm, this was time consuming. Which is a reminder for me: Don't ever stop writing!

MARA-JPA Interview

*Blows away all accumulated dust*
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.
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*coughs*

 I would love to make this post about tips on how to score the MARA-JPA interview but that would be out of my line since I don't even know if I will be chosen as a scholar. What I can really give you is a picture of what you may go through if you go for a MARA-JPA interview in the future. That is, if the format is maintained.

Well 2013 is the first year such a scholarship existed, really. There were a total of three sessions and all were done in groups.

 Case Study (English only)

We were given a two papers. One was of a  logo of Petronas and the other the instructions. The question went something like, " How can the picture (referring to Petronas) enhance a sense of belonging for younger generation towards Malaysia?". At first, nothing really clicked. But then we managed to extract some ideas from out rusty little brains. Basically our theme was somewhat "Being proud of Petronas's achievements", being it is a local company. Our presentation went quite okay.

Interview (English and Bahasa)

There were about seven in my group, we entered the room where two interviewers were seated across. And we sat infront of them in one line. It was pretty lax I guess, one of the two was always smiling, almost cynical. Anywhoo, the questions were

#1 Perkenalkan diri kamu. Kenapa kamu pilih MARA-JPA? Dan kenapa kamu pilih course kamu?

So this one was pretty  straight-on but seriously, get your course straight. Someone from my group was saying he wanted to be a doctor seeing a family member died and etc. That was pretty deep and emotional. The only thing wrong was that MEDICINE WAS NEVER OFFERED. Dentistry was the closest course.

#2 Adakah sistem pendidikan di Malaysia cukup baik? 

Wow, this is a dream question! I managed to pent up some of the frustration I had in brain but of course, berlapik. Someone did say, "Cukup bagus". Hah, I couldn't believe it when I heard it but then everyone is entitled to have their own opinion.

#3 What do you know about Tun Mahathir? (And also something about his leadership)

I think no one really went into deep on this topic. Someone even got caught not knowing what "Vision 2020" is really about. I had my fair share of doubt too. Well the thing is folks, know your leaders!

#4 Kenapa kami patut pilih anda?

Just sell yourself baby!

Penyelesaian Masalah (Bahasa only)

Basically, we had to present how to solve copyright issues in Malaysia or in Bahasa, cetak rompak. The presentation was alright but the questions were quite difficult. They asked which ministries and agencies are involved in solving the problem and etc. My knowledge in this department is laughable. It is official that a) this was the hardest session for me and b) my general knowledge needs real polishing.


Unwarranted Tips 

I guess I do have the right to give a few tips. Not on how to obtain the scholarship but rather on what precautions you must take. This is from what I observed from the mistakes some of us did.

• They want to hear that you will work for the government so don't talk about opening up your firm yet.
• You are to work locally. Don't talk about working overseas. You have to show that you are patriotic.
• Show that you are all about unity. Which yes, you should be! Don't talk garbage about other races and be so head-on fanatic about your own. In other words, don't be racist.
• Know your facts. Find out about Malaysian leaders. Update yourself with local news. And also know your ideal course!
• Talk. Say something different. Shine!

 It was pretty fun. Even if I don't receive this scholarship, the experience was still worth it.Well, I guess that's about it. May Allah guide you.


 Disclaimer 23/3/2015

Um, I don't know what caption I should put up here. Anyhoo, seeing the increasing number of views on this post, I'm guessing it's the interviewing season again.  I just want to let you guys know that this was two years ago. You might wanna check what happened last year and [the following year(s) if you're not reading this in 2015]. But I a little bit of advice can never get old. So self-censor(?). Can't think of the right word.

All the best!